My blog is porn

Yes, it’s officially porn, according to your friendly neighbourhood work filter. Observe this present one reader sent me.

Several others have mentioned having the same problem. Perhaps it’s not that surprising. You may recall that some time back I posted some of the more bizarre search terms that led people to land on my page. The most common route was via a concern for a certain Rolling Stones guitarist’s digital health. Somehow “keith richards arthritis” was a common phrase for people to enter into their search boxes, and it was far and away the most common search that led to Heathen Scripture. Ok then. But a check on search terms used since that last date has turned up a new winner. What could it be?

Tsunami porn.

Some time ago, I wrote a post called none other than ‘Tsunami porn’. It was about the film industry’s desire to emotionally exploit the Asian tsunami in an attempt to make compelling film. Were it a uni essay I would have said it was a statement on the perception of grief, the sanctity of tragedy, cultural colonialism, and the appropriation of narrative. I thought it was pretty interesting. You can read it here.

Since that day, though, it has apparently acted as a beacon for those who are probably not seeking out considered essays on cultural colonialism. They’re seeking out…tsunami porn. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out what it is. There’s no point Googling it, because apparently I’ll just end up back on my own blog. But think about it: “tsunami porn” is now the most popular search phrase to land on my website. And it’s not just one dude: all of its attendant misspellings and variations have been used too: porn film tsunami, porn story tsunami, tsunami of porn, porn t sunami, tsounami porn, tsunami porn family, tsunami pornp, tsunamiporn african, tsunamiporn.com, tusnami piorn, tzunami porn.

What…the hell, internet? What is wrong with you? I’m all for porn but WHY BRING TSUNAMIS INTO IT? How do you maintain a semi-spider-monkey position while being hit with a giant wall of water? Are people also searching for earthquake porn, avalanche porn, and locust plague porn? Well … probably.

Anyway. You’ll be pleased to know that “keith richards arthritis” is still the second-most popular search term. And that Kevin Muscat is still making consistent appearances. “Break his legs! Oh, wasn’t me, ref.” So for all our amusement, I am posting below some of the recent bizarre phrases that have led people to discover my website, and some time later have made me snort pasta out my nose over Google Analytics.

daryl braithwaite gossip

geoff lemon’s girlfriend

get my hair cut like charlie sheen

what is a heathen

arkham asylum henchmen barefoot

filthy heathen bitches

“messy charlie”

“peanut-head” definition

americans are brash and ballsy

another word for kiss up

best places to sunbake

black waters scripture

boat slamming

circumcision geelong

clemenceau scraped

dalian sex club

ella ella after we leave yours is bleed after victorious

extreme buzz cut men

falkland island kebab shops

george clooney

haemophlius

hands showing home sign family house concept sky grass background

heathen upon the wall

how the crocodile got it s skailes

I love kevin muscat

inclination of the head in photos

is ian thorpe circumcised in australia?

jason sing lemon

kevin muscat drunk

kevin muscat girlfriend

kevin muscat loves Melbourne

“last winter, i slipped on the outside stairs of pinetree café and broke my leg. my fall was caused by ice on the stairs that the restaurant failed to remove. since the restaurant clearly did not provide a safe atmosphere for its customers, i am justified in taking it to court.”

la albiceleste grammar

madridincog sergio ramos dick

man glassed in face st albans

mark hastie billy-o

martin palermo y shawshank redemption

monster choc chip cookies that’s life

my testicles are making their journey south

no way ey ey

nome dessa musica ey ey ey ey ey sun key ey

parapapapapapa un dos tres

ta gear boys for sexual intercourse

quotes with the word buzz

rastafari tamble heathen

real men eat quiche

ruskies urban

scheissenburg

scripture – hell is getting bigger

shackleton chose because they look funny?

shitting through the eye of a needle

something to put gaybar

song part-(and they stay there)

stealing ball of messi is like stealing an apple off maradona

the roof crew scripture

vitamise porn

weather wasn’t too bad for our little promenade, and neither were the tempratures

βουσ σεχ

you yube jason singh one world


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2 Responses to My blog is porn

  1. Anth says:

    Rule 34 dude.

  2. lilbert says:

    This is one of the funniest things ive ever seen, ever. Thanks Geoff!

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