Liudmila, my Russian bride-to-be

Ok, this is one of the funniest things I’ve read in years. John the Pirate received this email a few days ago.

Hey dear!
How are you? I hope that all nice for you.
I write to you, because I want to find man from Europe.
My name is Liudmila and I am 29 years old.
I from city Zelenodolsk
And I very beautiful and friendly woman and to search for serious attitudes.
In June I wish to visit the Europe.
But I have no friends in the Europe.
Also it would be fine, if we could have a meeting in your country.
I yet have not decided what country to visit, but it would be fine if you will tell to me more about the country.
In what country you now live? Tell to me more about the country?
It will be great if you will answer to me, so we can to have communication together.
If you will reply to me I will writing to you more about me and send photo of myself.
I want only serious and long relations, I hope you support me in it.
It will be interesting to me to learn that you think of it.

I hope to hear from you soon on my mail:


The best part is that there’s a photo attached, of a generic attractive Slavic woman, even though they tried to use a photo as the lure to make you write back. ‘If you write to me I’ll send you a photo of myself. Here is a photo of myself.’ When I go to the Europe I will look her up.

In other news one of my poems will be in the next issue of Blue Dog, so keep an eye out for that if you have a literary inclination. And I have two new Book Show articles up. One is on the weird nature of Argentine patriotism via literary heroes, and somehow ends up talking about Lionel Messi, because it’s impossible not to think of the World Cup with everyone here living and breathing it. You can find it here. And the other is on trying to read Camus without looking like a wanker – it lives here. Let me know what you think, I’m still sussing out how best to approach these literature-based articles.

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