This is the number of conversations I have had about the size of my feet while on this trip (including those with security personnel at Sydney and Auckland airports). In all seriousness. I’ve counted. This only applies to actual conversations, not to long looks or passing comments. The 54th conversation was quite a moment, given that they use European sizing over here and I’m approximately a 54. “Cinquenta-quatro” is my second-most-used Spanish word after “si”.

Let’s just put this on the record now. I have large feet. Very large feet. Very very comically large feet. Larger than the feet of anyone I know. I also know what they say about guys with big feet – any one of, big socks, big shoes, or an implication about penis size on which, being a gentleman, I can’t really speculate in a public forum. You’ll have to ask around. I’m also well aware of the size of Ian Thorpe’s feet (a 14 to my 17) and yes, perhaps I could have been a swimmer, were the entire pursuit not so mind-bendingly inane. If you would like to make a hilarious comparison between my footwear and nautical craft, or speculate on their ocean-going properties, now would be the time. Also if you’d like to take a photo of my foot next to yours, or put on my shoes over your own. Ok. Are we done? Great. Because when I get home, I never want to hear of this again.

Picture 279

Here is a photo of my foot with another smaller foot. Please photoshop in your own foot if you wish.

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