Quick Poll

I would like to know your most common/favourite/most interesting terms for a good case of the Screaming Liquid Shits. Roy and H.G. always used to favour “painting the bowl”. To date we’ve largely been going with ‘sharting’ and ‘squitting’.

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21 Responses to Quick Poll

  1. Aden says:

    I’ve always gone with ‘the squirts’.

  2. Rahn says:

    You know it’s bad when you throw common decency and personal privacy to the wind and open the stall door and swing it back towards you so you have something to bite down on to help you make it through the pain.

  3. Nursey says:

    “shitting through the eye of a needle” with Rahn’s addendum of “at 50 paces” 🙂

  4. Rahn says:

    and copied from a parallel facebook discussion: “Shitting through the eye of a needle at 50 paces”

  5. TimT says:

    Putting on a Cracktacular.

    Winning the Award for Excrements.

    Expelling in your field of duty.

    Glittering the shitter.

    Demonstrating Scheissenburg’s Principle.

    Off to perform an act of Spoken Merde.

  6. TimT says:

    And maybe shitterating as well, but that’s a bit of an afterthought.

  7. Marc Testart says:

    Mixing the ‘butt-choc daiquiri’…

  8. TimT says:

    Off to reshittivate the lavatory.

    Got a tincture in the sphinctre (or got a puncture in the sphinctre)

    I’ve got a sudden case of antacid rain.

    Anyone want to watch Gastroboy?

  9. Fiona says:

    As we were saying in Morocco: Porcelain Pyrotechnics.

  10. Doctor says:

    For the tourist t-shirt
    Bolivia: Where what presents itself as a fart is guaranteed digestion of the ano

  11. Well, ‘Delhi-belly” was a term thrown around alot in India for this ~ but that was more to do with the overall condition less the specific symptom of intenstine extraction.

  12. David Berry says:

    Nothing quite like being a ‘slave to the cistern’

  13. g fox says:

    bali belly

  14. Geoff Lemon says:

    Outstanding. Particularly enjoying slave to the cistern, Gastroboy, and porcelain pyrotechnics. Tim, perhaps reshiterating could be the go? “To reshiterate my earlier point…” Particularly given the incredible frequency of attacks, especially for the Doctor.

    And Rahn, my hat is off to you sir.

  15. Geoff Lemon says:

    To further explicate the Doctor’s earlier comment, another doctor once explained to me that the burning sensation around the anus is due to stomach fluids not being properly packaged within a protective mucus coating, as is the case with a normal healthy solid log. In liquid form the required binding has not taken place, and the juices are still active.
    “Ah,” said I. “So it’s actually stomach acid burning your arse on the way out.”
    “No,” he said. “Not stomach acid. Stomach juices. Your stomach juices contain a very strong digestive enzyme. So when you have diarrhoea, you are actually DIGESTING YOUR OWN ARSE.” (emphasis mine.)

    This made me burst into hysterical laughter at random intervals for at least a week. And turned into the acronym for Digesting Your Own Ring, aka DYOR!, which is what one should yell at times of great distress, including the toilet stall kind.

  16. Jeff Lawson says:

    We usually just call it ‘a bad case of the runs’…

  17. reg says:

    Starfish Gravy comes to mind.

  18. Geoff Lemon says:

    Starfish Gravy! Splendid. The more people can track down, the better. I’m looking for the most inventive and innovative we can find. That tiny touch of genius.

  19. SJX says:

    – dropping the kids off at the pool.

    – laying some cable.

  20. TimT says:


  21. Jules says:

    Storm in a One Cup.

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